And perhaps this is the end we've sought after for so long. [entries|friends|calendar] The Nice One strange yellow patterns. [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

i'm really happy for you and all but [Wednesday November 19th, 2008 ] [ mood | it happens ] you're really horrible at this. balancing is not your forte. i need to find a back up for whenever you're MIA. because i feel dumb waiting around, and even when you are here, you're not. 2 let go

chilly weather [Wednesday November 19th, 2008 ] [ mood | coool cucumber ] [ music | the bee gees ] please please please don't leave. i really like stepping outside barefoot and the side walks being cold. and i really enjoy waking up in the morning and thinking i didn't wear enough layers, its that cold out. you're perfect, please stay! 1 let go

growing ever colder [Monday November 17th, 2008 ] [ mood | blah ] [ music | weezer - burndt jamb ] at work we have this radio thingy. it has select stations like Hurbano, Hot Traxx, and Country Hits. before and after store hours we can listen to whatever station we want, but as soon as the clock strikes 10am, it switched to the Anchor Blue station. today it didn't switch back :] we listened to Hot Jams all day (rap and r&b). every other song had lil' wayne in it somehow, but it was awesome. to not have to hear the same songs all day long.... marvelous. and THAT ladies and gentlemen, was the highlight of my day. :] or :\ idk, you tell me. 6 let go

maybe you could open up to me [Monday November 17th, 2008 ] [ mood | ehh ] [ music | the faint ] thank god for this weather! it's what is keeping me sane. i started making my christmas list :] im putting in some hours of shipment work today, but i get off early enough to enjoy the cchill night. im off the next 2 days :D i don't think there will ever be a day where you will come clean all around me :\ i got money in da bank! i have the weekend off! Broken Social Scene on Saturday!!! (please come, panda bear!) i neeed to start my christmas shopping. ciao! 1 let go

obviously asking too much [Sunday November 16th, 2008 ] [ mood | annoyed ] i would much rather be by myself. now, onto falling asleep to degrassi.

im pushing you down and all around [Wednesday November 12th, 2008 ] [ mood | no cause for concern ] [ music | coldplay- amsterdam ] every once in a while i get little reminders to shut the fuck up. it feels like a slap on the wrist or a quick pinch and then i think, why the fuck did i just say that? and as soon as the words fall out of my mouth, im blasted back to reality. shut the fuck up, Triana. you'll only feel dumb when the last letter rolls off your tongue. 1 let go

bachian bear [Tuesday November 11th, 2008 ] [ mood | yayayay ] [ music | omg steve wilkos ] Sebastian happy birffday my little kitty cat, you have given me 3 years filled with love and lots of douche baggery <3 you were there when i really needed a kitty to be my pillow and foot rest, and your pink belly is amazing. lets take cat naps together for the rest of your life. 11 let go

when i'm stable long enough [Tuesday November 11th, 2008 ] [ mood | anxious ] oh boy this week is already a strange one... 2 let go

bounce [Friday November 7th, 2008 ] [ mood | hungry ] its always the same shit with you over and over and over again. you've become almost predictable and i'm not putting anymore effort into it. update: the person i was pushing for at work, has a interview on monday, please please please do well! 2 let go

spilling the beans [Wednesday November 5th, 2008 ] [ mood | i'm wet ] when i walk around campus, i walk always with my head down, just slightly. but don't think i dont see you, because i do. and truth is, i only pretend that i dont notice you because i would feel like a fool to notice someone who doesnt notice me. which is usually the case. im not making any sense, but i think its because i just got out of the shower and i'm never quite there in my brain when my head is wet. either way im getting better. a few days ago, while walking to the parking lot, i noticed someone, but i played it off like i hadnt seen a thing. and i know you looked at me, probably because i had pink hair. and you walked right behind me. you seemed like a nice person! today you walked into my store while i was folding t-shirts. and you shyly handed me an application. you were super sweet, and i acted like i had never seen you before in my life, a lie of course. you told me you go to Broward, and i acted surprised and told you i did too. you have no work experience, but im pushing my boss to give you an interview. on your application its says you have been taking care of your grandfather for the last 7+ years. and you seem so interesting. if only you knew how much im pulling for you. and maybe one day we can be friends. 8 let go

but we carried on anyway [Tuesday November 4th, 2008 ] [ mood | close your eyes triana! ] lets look at what this week has in store for me, shall we?! -tuesday- wake up at 6 shower try to beat a million people to the poll. 8am BIO huge gap (might try voting in this time slot instead) 11am human development 11:01am-skipping class to get some breakfast with sam, maybe? another huge gap (maybe do some napping) 2pm to 9:30- slave away at Anchor Blue Retail Group. come home and lose my hubs to the election coverage. maybe get coffee. -wednesday- im off from work and school, yay! make plans with me! -thursday- wake up 8am BIO visit morning photo class 11am human development. FREEE for the rest of the day! friday & saturday WORK! not too shabby, kids. have a good night! 1 let go

that's what i'm waiting for, aren't i? [Monday November 3rd, 2008 ] [ mood | sleep? ] [ music | little motel ] Well I can see it as time and as sight through smell, that’s why it’s nice to be by yourself. 0 let go

i will always be the sun and moon to you [Tuesday October 28th, 2008 ] [ mood | baguette! ] [ music | noah and the whale ] yes i have pink hair. and yes, i took a picture of my self while driving in a school zone. i obv. didn't learn my lesson from my last school zone ticket, haha! i love it. but im waiting for my human development class at 11am, i just know that stupid girl will turn around and say, "you dyed your hair?". im trying to come up with something sarcastic and witty to say back to her. "no, its a fucking allergic reaction!" no no no, i need better. anywho. i'm really pumped and super happy. and i hope you all are having a fan fucking tastic day! 8 let go

later, masturbator. [Monday October 27th, 2008 ] [ mood | in love with john leguizamo ] be my friend and watch this with me. please and thank you. 8 let go

identity vs. identity confusion [Friday October 24th, 2008 ] [ mood | ima chill shorty ] charlie brown, we could have been great friends. i feel you. 2 let go

[Thursday October 23rd, 2008 ] [ music | rain ] every once in a while my mind goes to that scene in Edward Scissorhands where he goes to grab his gift of new fleshy hands and accidentally cuts them up into smithereens. its heart breaking and it won't leave me alone. i think i am struggling more than i would like to even show my self. and it comes out at night, right before i crawl into bed. i am an overflowing mug of hot and steamy insecurities, and i just can't convince my self otherwise. as peachy as my days are, my nights are the polar opposite. all my hard work and smiles go to waste. my voice becomes soft and low and sometimes non-existent, my eye sad and my spine goes crooked. why did i stop writing in my black and white composition notebooks? why did i stop drawing? i should really start that up again. can i do blind contour drawings of you?? my head, mouth, tongue are just filled with questions i will never have the courage to ask. I am off the next two days, and those i want to be with are busy. i was thinking of taking the tri-rail and metro to miami. just some alone time. and i could probably find some nice things to photograph. I'm going to gainesville next weekend. Driving up friday afternoon right after work, coming home sunday. i'll see some friends, and definitely visit my grandparents (who i have been promising a visit for monthsss). its really all i am looking forward to right now. that and reading my new book. end of update. p.s. i think the "girl" that lives upstairs is watching me as i write this. god please make her go away, please. 4 let go

heavy breathing [Tuesday October 21st, 2008 ] [ mood | yay ] when i wake up in the morning i will feel a million times better. because i know tomorrow will be a much better day. i am self aware, and that is half the battle. i feel really good about this, trying to work on a few bad habits. i gotta look out for me, you know? :] shit, Atonement is on. yessssss! 5 let go

you lose [Tuesday October 21st, 2008 ] [ mood | oh boy ] [ music | daft punk ] you haunt me. shit.

[Saturday October 18th, 2008 ] [ mood | nauseated ] waking up to the smell of something burning and then having the smoke alarm go off, is not nice. our water heater caught fire. and for a second i felt bad for saying i was going to die when i turned 21. hahahaha oh life, you are funny. but now i feel all sick in my estomago, maybe from the fumes still lingering in my house. oh and then my cat was no where to be found, and i was about 2 seconds away from going insane and balling. but i brought out our hurricane flashlight and found him huddle in fear in a corner under my bed. such an emotional morning. but today should be a good day fingers crossed! see yahhh. 0 let go

embrace me my sweet embraceable you [Saturday October 18th, 2008 ] [ mood | hahahahhhh hmmm ] [ music | sunset rubdown ] i would just like to say a few things while i have time. i would like to think people arent shit. but sometimes they just are. and i think i am just feeling a little bit numb right now, but soon enough it will hit me and i'll be mad. It's my fucking birthday for crying out loud, you would think my friends would consider it....important? i just feel like i try so much. and its always a slap in the face, a reminder that i shouldnt try as hard. not everyone is shit, obviously. and i love using commas, obviously. sunset rubdown is great. i want to watch a lot of movies, old and new. with a few people. i am such a paranoid patricia. some guy called the store today and went on and on and on about shit. ramble ramble blah blah blah. and of course i was sweet and helpful, and of course he was disgusting and flirtatious, and i am not looking forward to him coming it to scope me and the store out. I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR INTEREST IN GRAPHIC BUTTON DOWN WOVENS! NOR DO I CARE ABOUT YOUR FAST CARS AND NEW TIRES, I'M FUCKING WORKING. i want to go to gainesville the weekend of halloween. i want ivan not to sweat while he sleeps. yup, thats about it. 8 let go

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]